Common misconception

Why is it that if I child doesn't grow up to be a model citizen than it is the mother's fault because she must have done something wrong while raising her child. People say this all the time that the mother must not have corrected her child properly because why else would the child grow up to be a drug addict or wife beater etc. What if the mother really has done everything the right way and they still stray from the right path, then what, is the parents still to blame?  Why is it that I have so much burden and guilt on my shoulders about how all 10 of these kids have turned out and are turning out when I have done everything in my power to teach them right from wrong and show them that there is consequences to their wrong actions. It seems like the harder I try the worse things turn out and in a way I really have just given up. My health is rapidly going down hill and my mental status feels at times like it is going to break but, yet these kids who are no longer babies and understand fully what they are doing just don't seem to care. My husband and I are really at our wits end. We have took these last 2 to counselors and nothing has helped. We are trying 1 last time with a new councilor and if this doesn't help then I really just don't know what I am going to do. I guess maybe I need to go spend some time in a padded room eating blue Jell-O and blowing spit bubbles. Well I better close before I keep spiraling down this rabbit hole and then can't dig my way out. Peace and love to all my family and friends.

Maybe I am a bad mom

Ok today's blog is going to be dark because I am really going through some things right now. Every time it is a school day my 11 year old decides to act out and refuses to go to school. I can't physically but her on the bus or in the van because she is as big as I am.  I really am at a loss as what to do with her. I really do love my kids with all my heart and I will do anything in the world for them. It seems as though when she is not getting her way she decides to yell at me and tells me that I am not her mother and she doesn't want to be around me or live with me. I fully understand I did not give birth to her but I am the one who has been there for her since day one. It seems like the harder i try the worse I get treated. Out of the 3 kids that I did give birth to only one has anything to do with me and out of the 7 I raised as my own no really treat me with any kind of thankfulness. We have our 2 grandchildren that are under 18 that live with us and I have always treated them and the rest as my own. I have never made a difference in any of the kids, in fact I did more for them than I did my own but do I get a thank you? Hell no I get treated like I don't matter. I truly give up because why should I keep putting myself out there so I can keep getting hurt. It is not fair. I don't understand i did what I felt was the right thing to do and it has really got me nowhere. It has only gotten me a broken heart and more depression. I really don't know what I have done wrong to deserve being treated this way. I have literally given all these kids everything that they want. I have done without to make sure they could have what they want and I have never been told thank you or been appricappre for anything that I have done. I just must be a door mat for everyone to wipe there feet on. Well I warned you that this was going to be dark and I am sorry but I just had to get it out of my head. Love and peace to all my friends and family.

Annoying neighbors

It never ceases to amaze me how low class and trashy some people can act.  Yesterday evening around 6 PM the neighbors were yet again stomping through the house and sounding as though they were coming through the ceiling.  I was not feeling good so my older son knocked on their door and politely asked them if they could keep it down because his mom (me) wasn't feeling good.  Well the man decides to get rude with him and told him that it was during the day and they would make as much noise as they wanted and that we were never to climb his stairs and knock on his door again.  Well that was the straw that broke the camel's back because earlier in the day the woman was screaming at the top of her lungs at her 11 year old son.  Okay whatever I get it he is your kid but, when you are being that loud right outside my kitchen window and it is closed and has a blackout curtain on it and I can hear every word you you are screaming.  Also my son who was all the way in the back of the house with his door closed and his video game on could hear her and my daughter who was in the living room with her phone up could hear her, and me in my room with my TV on could hear her that is when I have a problem because you are then disturbing the peace.  My husband walked out onto our back porch and calmly asked her if she could tone it down because he didn't want his kids hearing all of that.  She had the nerve to roll her eyes and keep on going, so I walked out on the porch and just looked at her and she decided to take it upstairs and quite it down.  So when they were rude to my son I lost it finally and decided that it was time to fight fire with fire and I cranked my stereo up to 35.  Okay let me explain my stereo is actually a DJ system and let me tell you it can really thump.  It didn't take them 2 minutes to come flying down their stairs and bang on my door.  So I fling open my door and standing furious on my back porch is their teenage son and he immediately starts yelling at me telling me that it is my turn to be quiet and that I am going to turn the music down now.  Okay that went over like a lead balloon because for one you are a punk ass child and you are not going to demand me to do anything.  My kids will tell you that will never work for me.  You might ask me nicely if I will do it but demanding me and yelling at me nope that shit won't fly.  Well I am assuming that he has not heard the word no to much in his short life because he grew more and more angry when I told him no I was listening to my music because remember it is day time and we can do as we please.  He proceeded to get louder and more belligerent and I told him to get off my porch that I was not dealing with a child.  Well by then his dad had come down the stairs and was just standing there.  His son proceeded to call me a Bitch and a Whore, I took one look at his dad and I said excuse me is that the kind of kid that you are raising that you would allow him to talk to a woman that way.  All his dad could say was to tell him to go back upstairs.  Excuse me no apology or anything wow, you let one of my kids talk to an adult like that and they will be spitting out teeth and apologizing with their teeth in their hand.  I do not put up with and have never put up with that kind of behavior from my kids and no my kids are not perfect far from it but they know how to talk to an adult.  Well the dad's woman came downstairs and started running her mouth and I told her to shut up and go back upstairs because this had nothing to do with her.  The dad said the reason his son was so upset was because he couldn't hear his TV.  Well boo who cry me a river build a bridge and get over it because with all the noise that they make upstairs there is time that I cannot sleep or hear my TV but you don't see my kids going up there and calling the adults out of their names.  Even the dad never apologized for his son's behavior he only made excuses for him.  Oh and their excuse for all the running and jumping in the house is because the 11 year old has ADHD, oh great just more excuses.  So you are telling me that when he goes to school that he doesn't sit and do his work that he is running through the classroom non stop and jumping around because I will call Bullshit on that because I have worked with kids that have ADHD in the school system and they had better control of themselves than that.  Kids know when their parents are making excuses for them and they will do whatever they can get by with.  I am not saying that ADHD is not a real thing but, people also use that as an excuse to allow their children to misbehave and be rude and I don't have time for all of that nonsense because my home is a place of peace of me and I don't want to put up with your child's nonsense.  When they first moved in the landlord rented it to the man and his teenage son but, since moving in he has moved in a woman, her 11 year old son and another teenage girl.  So all together they have 2 adults and 3 kids living in a small 2 bedroom apartment.  After me telling the man he needs to but a muzzle and a leash on his woman she decided that she would go back upstairs but, not before she informed me that I was rude and didn't know how to properly treat my husband with respect.  Bitch please you don't even know me or know how I treat my man.  My man starts out his day with me laying his clothes out, me fixing him breakfast and coffee before work and fixing his lunch to take to work, I keep the house clean and when he comes home he has a hot meal waiting on him.  I help him take off his shoes and socks when he gets home, fix him a plate of food.  When he goes and takes a shower or bath I bring him his clothes.  I wait on my man because he works and provides for our family and I don't have to work.  Then we watch what he wants to watch on TV.  So before you start telling me that I don't respect my man you better stop and recognize who you are addressing and you better back up and get your nose up out of my koolaid before you get your beak slapped off.  My husband thought for sure that I was going to fight her but, like I told him she was at least smart enough to stay at her steps and not approach my porch because if she would have got to close this here cobra would have struck.  I don't like to get loud and rowdy because I am way to old for all that drama and nonsense but, don't get it twisted I will not allow someone to get in my face and disrespect me because then I will deal with my business and roll on.  Well I guess I have ranted enough on that subject but, I had to get it off my chest and out of my head.  On a better note we bought a garden tiller, it is used but it was a one owner and garage kept and it is a craftsman brand so I was really happy about that.  And the best part is that we only paid $70 for it.  I am really excited because now my husband can plow up me a vegetable garden and my flower garden.  Well I have a lot to do today so I am going to close for now.  Peace and Love to all my family and friends.

I survived April fools day

I am sorry I know I did not write yesterday but, it was an unexpectedly hectic day.  I was so fortunate that nobody tried to prank me which was a good thing. Some families really get into pranking each other but, for some strange reason my family doesn't which is really strange because my family is crazy and always trying to get one over on each other.  Okay now you are going to hear me rant because these people that have moved into the apartment above us are extremely loud and rude.  They for some reason think that it is okay to stomp through their apartment at all hours of the day and night.  It is one thing to walk through your home but, constantly run and stomp through your home especially when you are living above someone is extremely rude and very unnecessary.  And then if that is not bad enough they decide to run a vacuum cleaner at 5 AM.  I mean I could understand if they worked during the day and that is the only time that they can do it but, that is not the case.  They are home all day long running and stomping through the apartment.  They also tend to yell at each other and make loud noises.  When we have nicely asked them to keep it down they are rude and act like we shouldn't be saying anything to them about it.  So I guess the next step is to tell the landlord again and tell him that he needs to handle this because it is really riding on my last nerve.  I can't let my husband handle it because he is too redneck and he would end up throwing the dude off the balcony or down the stairs and we cannot afford for him to go to jail because he doesn't want to lose his job.  I was talking to my Tik Tok family this morning during our coffee club meeting and they was talking about their horror stories of Walmart.  People tend to be crazy when they go to Walmart for some reason their mouth filter goes out the window.  Like we went to park in a parking spot and the people on the other side decided that we should move so that they could pull through, we turned our vehicle off and got out to go into the store and they cussed us out and pulled around and threw a drink at me and drove off.  It was so crazy I think people get high and then go to Walmart.  On the agenda for today after lunch I am going to go into the bathroom and mud up the holes so that way I can paint it tomorrow.  I also am going to mud the walls in my daughters bedroom walls and bathroom.  Then paint it either tomorrow or Friday.  I really just need to get this stuff done and I need to do it while the kids are home on spring break because that way they can help me.  It is supposed to warm up on Friday so we are going to be going outside and clean up the trash that is all over the back yard because I am sick and tired of looking at it.  Well I need to go get busy and get all this crap done and eat lunch.  Peace and Love to all of my family and friends.