date set and building my YouTube channel

 I am happy about a few things this morning and also nervous about a few things also. We set a date for the move to Florida. It is as of right now set for August the 6th. I am getting really excited about this because it is finally happening and we have been waiting patiently and planning for this for awhile now. It is going to be so good for us because our health has really gone downhill since we have been back in Kentucky and our doctors have told us both that this will be the best thing for us both to be back in Florida. Also, we had better doctors in Florida so that is another plus about moving back. Another thing I am happy about this morning is that I checked my YouTube channel and I am up to 40 subscribers. I know for some people that doesn't sound like a lot but, you have to start somewhere and I think that is a really good number. Now my TikTok has blown up because it is over 5000 so that is great there so if I can get my YouTube to blow up like that and this blog to grow like that too then man I will be really happy. I just like knowing that I am actually reaching people and that someone out there must be getting touched by my content or else they wouldn't be reading or watching what I have to say. I just want people to know that they are not alone and that everyone doesn't have the same normal like everyone else. I have a crazy normal but, for me it's normal. That is why I always say that normal is a setting on your dryer and not always a setting for your life. So what is your normal? Sometimes my normal is all over the place. One day I might have the energy to clean my whole room spotless and the next day I might not have the energy to get up. People have to learn that they cannot compare their lives to other people because when they do that is when they get depressed and start to feel bad about themselves. I know from experience because I have done this and I constantly have to remind myself not to do this. It is hard not to do this because it seems as a society that is what we are taught to do from an early age. I have tried as a parent not to do that to my children and I have tried to allow them to become their own person. Yes it has been a difficult task and I have not been perfect at all and yes I have failed at times as everyone does because no one is perfect no matter what. All you can do in life is try and as long as you are trying to be the best that you can be and you are not going around trying to hurt people while you are trying to be the best version of you that you can be then that is all that anyone can really expect of you. I have been fighting to get my disability started since 2014 because my health has been slowly deteriorating and I am not physically able to keep up with the demands of a job. I have documents proving this from all of my doctors and yet the disability board still wants to drag their feet on approving me. I am so beyond frustrated on how other people get approved in a matter of months with less proof than I have. I just don't understand. I have jumped through so many hoops that they have demanded of me and they still have drug this out. It has put so much stress and strain on us financially, emotionally, and mentally. I am by no means hating on the people that do get approved because I don't know their circumstances just as no one truly knows mine. They keep telling me they are behind on cases but, if that is the case then how are they approving new cases without first taking care of the cases that have already been waiting years. That is what I don't understand. I feel like the people that are waiting should be taken care of first before the new cases are even looked at but, of course, that is just my opinion. I'm sure everyone has their own opinion on the subject. I just wish they would make a decision one way or the other so I would know where I stand and that way I would know what to do next. Because if they deny me this time I have to start all over from the very beginning and that is something that I do not feel is fair. Well, I better close for now. If anyone wants to find me on YouTube just go to https://youtu.be/dUjJ-hpevLA That is one of my latest videos you can watch and then you can like and then subscribe to my channel if you would like to please. If you like my blog please keep reading and you can comment on any of them that you read and give me some ideas on things that you would like me to write about. Have a wonderful day and stay safe. 

When Your at the end of your rope

 When you are at the end of your rope and you have finally had enough of everyone's crap, it is time to put your foot down and start living for yourself and your family. Giving tough love to your kids is a hard thing to do but, sometimes it is necessary to make them wake up and become stronger people in the long run.  A person can only take so much before they finally explode. Well over the last few days my husband and I have been under an enormous amount of pressure and finally this morning it all came to a head and he let it all out. We are emotionally and mentally exhausted and we really need some rest. We are saving every dime we get so we can move back to our home in Florida and just get away from it all. We were crazy for ever thinking that it was a good idea to move back to Kentucky because ever since we have been back it has been one headache after another. The one thing that is sad about leaving is the one family that we will be leaving behind and they are not just friends they have became family because they have treated us better than our own family has ever treated us and we love them as a family should love each other. Although it isn't like we will never see them again because they now have a reason to vacation in Florida often and they will always have a place to stay when they come down. In fact, we are supposed to get together with them today to go to the waterpark when she gets off work. As you can see whenever I write my blogs I try to leave names out of them because I don't want to have things fall back on me and for people to get butt hurt if they happen to read this. I would have never thought in a million years that I or my husband would have raised a bunch of whiny snowflakes but, apparently, we have because they tend to piss and moan about stupid things that don't amount to a hill of beans. I personally try to avoid drama at all cost when I can but, if it can't be helped then I will tackle it head-on, and believe me you don't want me to confront you because I will hurt your feelings real quick because I have come to the point that if you don't respect my feelings then I don't give two shits about yours either. I do get kind of discouraged though, about some things like for instance, all these people raising money to help others with gofundme.com pages and they get thousands of money for all kinds of things and I ask for help to get us to move because my doctor said with my health Florida would be the best place for me and I can't get help with one red cent. I even see Youtubers giving money away to strangers, buying strangers cars, trucks, jewelry, clothes, shoes, and houses and I get nothing, zip, zilch, nada. I just don't understand because I am not a bad person. I help people in need whenever I can and I never expect anything in return. I just want to go home so bad it is killing me to stay someplace that we really don't want to be and to just exist while we are here is awful. The stress that my husband and I are under lately has been causing us to have nightmares and that is awful in and of itself right there. I just hope that by the first of August there is a light at the end of the tunnel and we can move back home to our peaceful paradise. 

Either Cry or Write

 When everything is building up and you either have to write it all down or bust out crying I feel for me it is best to get it all out by writing. I am so tired. Physically and emotionally. There comes a time when people just need to grow up and quit dumping on us and quit relying on us. We are not counselors I mean there is a reason people go to school to become licensed counselors and we are not it. They say you can lead a horse to water but, you can't make it drink and that is so true. I am so tired of people making the wrong choices and then expecting me to be ok with it. I am not ok with the wrong lifestyle choices that are being made and I am no longer just going to sit back and accept it with my mouth shut. I just can't do it anymore. I am also sick and tired of the threat of suicide being played with. Suicide is a real thing for some people and when people are just using it as a way to get attention then it just really pisses me off. I deal with enough stress with my own health issues of not being able to do what needs to be done around the house to help out so I am down on myself about that and I am constantly fighting an inner battle on a daily basis so I really don't have the time or the energy to have to deal with another grown adults problems that are actually solvable they just don't want them solved. If you are happy with the way your life is and you don't really want to change then stop coming to me with your so-called problems and pissing and moaning and using me if you are just going to sit and roll around in your self-pity and then keep on doing what you have been doing and you are not going to change because it is not going to happen in my house around my kids. I am putting my foot down. I have had enough I can't take anymore. This is affecting what little sleep I do get. I am starting to have night terrors again. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. My stomach stays in knots, I have a constant headache, and I feel irritated all the time. I can't take anymore. Even my hubby is irritated, has a constant headache, and can't sleep well. It really is affecting our family in a bad way. If anyone out there reads this and they pray please pray for our little family because we need it really bad.

Confusion

 Sitting here this morning I am in total confusion as to how a person can have the best life handed to them and they refuse to accept it. I understand that you love your children unconditionally but what are you supposed to do when you are caught between a rock and a hard place. I hate seeing my children go through anything that I know is going to ruin their life. My husband and I are so stressed to the max right now that we are physically ill. We know that is not good for either one of us but, we can't seem to stop. It is really hard when we are right in the middle if the situation. We just can't turn our backs on our children no matter what. We really don't know what to do. We are moving out of state in two months and I really cannot wait because I feel that will help to eliminate a lot of the stress that we are experiencing from outside sources. His family puts a lot of stress in our lives which is crazy. Family I always thought that family was supposed to be a place of support not stress but, apparently I was wrong. I always saw so many families getting together and having so much fun when I was growing up and that is what I wanted when I grew up and git married was a big family with lots of kids so we could get together and have fun too. Well I got the big family and lots of kids but, no one gets along and they don't get together and no one is fun. Although me and my husband and the three kids that live with us go have fun together. I guess sometimes you just have to have fun with the people that matter. Also we have some friends that treat us like family and we get together with them and we have great memories. So I have learned that sometimes family is not always blood. The fair is next week and we are all getting together and we are going to have an awesome time and I can't wait. I guess blood does not make you family. Loyalty makes you family. Without loyalty you have nothing. Well I hope this helps someone and thank you for reading please like and share so this will reach .more people.