Maybe I am a bad mom

Ok today's blog is going to be dark because I am really going through some things right now. Every time it is a school day my 11 year old decides to act out and refuses to go to school. I can't physically but her on the bus or in the van because she is as big as I am.  I really am at a loss as what to do with her. I really do love my kids with all my heart and I will do anything in the world for them. It seems as though when she is not getting her way she decides to yell at me and tells me that I am not her mother and she doesn't want to be around me or live with me. I fully understand I did not give birth to her but I am the one who has been there for her since day one. It seems like the harder i try the worse I get treated. Out of the 3 kids that I did give birth to only one has anything to do with me and out of the 7 I raised as my own no really treat me with any kind of thankfulness. We have our 2 grandchildren that are under 18 that live with us and I have always treated them and the rest as my own. I have never made a difference in any of the kids, in fact I did more for them than I did my own but do I get a thank you? Hell no I get treated like I don't matter. I truly give up because why should I keep putting myself out there so I can keep getting hurt. It is not fair. I don't understand i did what I felt was the right thing to do and it has really got me nowhere. It has only gotten me a broken heart and more depression. I really don't know what I have done wrong to deserve being treated this way. I have literally given all these kids everything that they want. I have done without to make sure they could have what they want and I have never been told thank you or been appricappre for anything that I have done. I just must be a door mat for everyone to wipe there feet on. Well I warned you that this was going to be dark and I am sorry but I just had to get it out of my head. Love and peace to all my friends and family.