Common misconception

Why is it that if I child doesn't grow up to be a model citizen than it is the mother's fault because she must have done something wrong while raising her child. People say this all the time that the mother must not have corrected her child properly because why else would the child grow up to be a drug addict or wife beater etc. What if the mother really has done everything the right way and they still stray from the right path, then what, is the parents still to blame?  Why is it that I have so much burden and guilt on my shoulders about how all 10 of these kids have turned out and are turning out when I have done everything in my power to teach them right from wrong and show them that there is consequences to their wrong actions. It seems like the harder I try the worse things turn out and in a way I really have just given up. My health is rapidly going down hill and my mental status feels at times like it is going to break but, yet these kids who are no longer babies and understand fully what they are doing just don't seem to care. My husband and I are really at our wits end. We have took these last 2 to counselors and nothing has helped. We are trying 1 last time with a new councilor and if this doesn't help then I really just don't know what I am going to do. I guess maybe I need to go spend some time in a padded room eating blue Jell-O and blowing spit bubbles. Well I better close before I keep spiraling down this rabbit hole and then can't dig my way out. Peace and love to all my family and friends.