Total honesty

I am going to be totally honest right now and say something that is really hard for me. After struggling so hard to lose weight and coming so close to being where I wanted to be I have gained 45 pounds and I feel miserable. I feel like I now have no energy and I feel sick and everytime I eat anything I feel sick. I have been to the doctor and they said it is because of my surgery as to why I feel sick after eating. I need to take a step back and rethink how I am eating and what I am eating. I feel so ashamed of having gained this weight. I can no longer fit into my clothes and when I put something on that does fit I feel like I look horrible. I don't judge others on the way that they look and I don't look down on anyone for the way they look but I look down on myself. I feel like I am sliding into a pit and I can't see out. My husband is so supportive he tells me that he loves me just the way I am. He has never made me feel like I don't measure up. I am going to take a step back and reevaluate what I need to do and get back on track because I really need to lose the weight for my health.