I'm back

I am sorry it has been so long since I have written on my blog.  I lot has happened since my last post of course.  I will try to fill all ya'll in on everything.  My weight loss is at a stand still for some reason.  I started out at 400 pounds as most of you know and then after my weight loss surgery I got down to 212, but now I am back up to 245 and I have been here for almost 2 years.  Not going up which is a good thing but not going down which is really agrivating.  I am seeing a knee doctor who does a cortizone injection in my knee every 3 or 6 months.  I see a heart doctor every 6 months because they ran tests and found our that I had a slight heart attack. I see my family doctor every 3 months for medication refills and check up.  They have me on like 20 different perscriptions.  I see my dermatoligist every 3 months for a steriod shot because without it I have extremly painful pseriosis. Also I see the nurse at my family doctor's office for a B-12 shot every month.  Having all the illness that I have been diagnosed with really sucks but, I still have to keep going and not let myself stop and get down because if I do that it would be extreamly bad.  I have kids and my husband counting on me to be there for them the way that they are there for me.  I also see my psychiatrist every other month unless I need to talk before then.  My life seems to revolve around doctor appointments.  I am so glad that I get to see the dentist tomorrow because I have 2 teeth in the back that are cracked and chipped and cutting the inside of my mouth. The following is a list of medications that they have me on:  Simvastatin, Vitamin D, Potassium Chloride ER, Omeprazole, Vitamin B-12, Gabapentin, Multi-Vitamin, PEG oral packet, Hydrochlorothiazide, Aspirin, Polyethylene Glycol, Quetiapine Fumarate, Ibuprofen, Duloxetine HCI, Symbicort, Nitrostate, Loratadine, Halobetasol Propionate External Cream, and Fluticasone Propionate.  I have been diagnosed with the following conditions:  Allergic Rhinitis, Anxiety, Asthma, Bipolar Disorder, Congestive Heart Failure, Depression, Hypertension, High Cholesterol, Irritable Bowl Syndrome, Migraines, GERD, Sleep Apnea, Chest Pain, Shortness of Breath, Physical Deconditioning, Obesity, Arthritis, COPD, Knee pain, Fibromyalgia, Constipation, IBS, Dysuria, Lumbar Spine Pain, Hip Pain, Hypokalemia, Vitamin D deficiency, Vitamin B12 deficiency, Atypical chest pain, skin lesion infected, Abdominal Pain, UTI, Osteoporosis, Urinary Incontinence, and Gastrointestinealeitis.  I have had the following surgeries:  Appendectomy, Gallbladder removal, Oophorectomy, Tonsillectomy and adnoids removed, tubal ligation, complete, hysterectomy, 2 cesarean sections, DNC, Gastric bypass. I don't thing that there is anything left to remove, you would think that all of that with all of that stuff removed that it would make me lighter lol.  I am only sharing all of this with you because I want you to know that if you suffer from any of these things of anything else that you are not alone.  I have joined several support groups and it has been a positive thing in my life.  Another thing I do is an app on social media called Tik Tok, now before you think or say anything I know it is crazy but, for me it is fun and it gives me a chance to let lose and be goofy.  I really enjoy it, It really brings a smile to my face and puts joy in my life.  The people on Tik Tok have become my friends.  Yeah I may not have face to face friends but for my cyber friends have become important to me because it keeps me from retreating into a solitude of loneliness and depression.  Some of these friends have become more than friends, they are like family to me.  I don't take family lightly.  Since the death of my mother and dad I only have my husband and 3 kids who live in my home.  My husbands family do not act like a family should and 7 of our kids have nothing to do with us and I honestly don't know why and they won't tell us either.  I feel like life is to short for people to just throw their family away the way that they have done.  I really didn't appreciate my mother being around and I really took it for granted that thinking that she would always be around.  If you mother is still alive please be good to her and appreciate her.  As with my husband though his parents don't treat him like a son.  It breaks my heart when parents don't treat their kids right but, it also breaks my heart when kids take their parents for granted thinking that they will be around forever.  I gave so much to my 5 stepkids, in fact we never used labels, to me they were my kids and I treated them accordingly. I personally have 3 kids that I gave birth to and I never treated any of the 8 any different.  I was extremely happy to have all these children because I had always wanted a big family.  I wanted to be like those families on tv that get together and have fun.  Boy was I in for a rude awakening.  My mom helped to raise my 3 due to a nasty divorce and my hubby's 5 lived with us.  I gave all my kids my everything and 7 of them have turned their backs on us.  Yes it is painful and it hurts but, I have had to force myself not to wallow in it because if I keep dwelling on it I would crawl into a deep dark ball of depression and that would not be fair to the 1 who is by my side and the 2 grandkids who we are raising as our own and my hubby.  Ok no my life is not perfect my husband and I argue and have verbal fights but, we love each other with our whole hearts and we took our wedding vows seriously and we believe that it is till death do we part.  When we have a disagreement we talk it out, sometimes loudly lol, but we move on and keep on supporting each other. I want to throw this out here we do not become physical because that is a promise that we both made to each other.  With my first marriage I was the one who worked and kept the house finances together because he was a sorry bum who wouldn't support his family and cared more about beating the crap out of me and knocking the kids around and abusing them sexually (I found this out after I had left him).  I got out of this relationship after 10 years due to meet a woman who was a wonderful friend and like a big sister to me.  She helped me to see that this was not a healthy relationship and that I need to put on my big girl panties and leave the jerk.  He had always told me that he would kill me and the kids if I ever tried to leave him and that his family was bigger and badder than mine. So that is the reason that when I left I sent my kids to live with my mom.  The kids were ages 7, 6 and 4.  I left with my friend her name was Rena her real name is Dora Ritzinger.  I have lost contact with her and I would really love to see her again, I really miss my big sister, If anyone knows her whereabouts please let me know or tell her I am looking for her.  My email address is collegemom1973@gmail.com if you can help me I would greatly appreciate it.  We have recently like 1 and 1/2 weeks ago moved into a house that we are having to remodel as we are living here.  We worked out a good deal with the landlord and he gave us really cheap rent. and after it is fixed up he will not raise the rent and we can live her for as long as we want. Yes I got it all in writing.  I never realized how expensive remodeling is.  So far we have the living room completed and the kitchen.  My room only needs carpet, I have to finish nailing the baseboards back up in the living room and the fireplace (non working our choice) needs a few things done with it and when I get done with it it will look like it is functioning but it will be beautiful and fake lol. I am also having to replace the ceiling fan in here because someone removed the blades and the light.  I am just going to say this right here whoever lived her before really messed this place up, their was trash everywhere and wholes in the walls and windows knocked out and cracks all in the front door.  Well So far we have painted and laid carpet in the living room and I repaired the front door, We painted the kitchen and laid tile in the kitchen and linoleum in the dining area.  I also got 2 bar stools for the bar and they are Ashley and gorgeous.  My husband had a fit because I paid $100 a piece for them.  I also got an area rug for the living room for $50 it was on sale.  The theme for our living room is western and Indian. The theme for my kitchen is country and coffee cafe, the theme for the bathroom is tropical beach.  My room is going to be a showplace for my husbands knife and gun collection.  I have crocheted everyone a dream catcher for their rooms in the colors that they chose.  My next bigger project is fixing my bathroom and Kia-Leigh's bathroom.  She has her own bathroom connected to her room.  At the moment the boys are staying in my craft room because they have to do some work on the basement which is huge.  They have their own bedrooms down their, I have a storage room and the have a huge room that they are turning into a game room.  They are big on gaming and Youtube.  I also have about every social media, Tik Tok, Twitter, Facebook, You tube, Snap Chat, Instagram. I used to have myspace back in the day before facebook.  My kids hate it because I stalk them on all social media.  I feel that is being a good mom because I don't trust all these online people because there is so many perverts out there. I do trust my kids because that is one thing I have instilled in them.  My thing is never lie to me because I don't care what you have done just tell me the truth so we can deal with it and move on.  A lie will lead to more lies and once you loss trust then you have nothing because if someone can't trust you then what good are you.  I am the type of mom that I don't care what you did together we can fix it or whatever.  Yes if you do something wrong I will be disappointed but that doesn't mean my love for you stops because my love is unconditional.  By no means my kids are not perfect at all. Right now we have our 2 grandkids that we are raising as our own, Dalton is 13 and Kia-Leigh is 11 also my son Luther age 26 lives with us.  Luther has a job and he is a hard worker and he pulls his own weight and pays his own way. He has a job at a steel factory painting metal fences with my husband.  They work anywhere from 50-60 hours a week.  Luther is a good kid and he never gives us a minutes problem when payday rolls around the first thing he does is pay his part of the bills and then he has plenty of money left over for his self to do whatever he chooses.  My husband has been a father figure to him for 20 years and he calls him dad and that is awesome.  Dalton and Kia-Leigh are good kids but when they argue with each other boy do I just want to knock their heads together or duct tape their mouths lol.  They see a counselor because of all the crap that they have been through because of their mother.  She literally put them through hell for 6 months of their lives.  We have had them since birth but we had never went to court or had any paper work because we were dumb and didn't really thing about it. The mother which is my husbands daughter she made us jump through some awful hoops with the kids, if we didn't do things her way or jump when she said jump she would threaten to take the kids away from us.  She was bouncing around from guy to guy and doing drugs and partying.  We didn't know that we could take it to court and put and end to all of the drama she was putting the kids and us through.  Until one day about 10 years ago she beat up one of her kids aunts (for no reason, she was raising 1 of her kids since birth) and she beat up my niece because she didn't like what she had said about her which was only the truth.  Well finally the state picked up the case and filed charges against her and she got locked up for 6 months while she was pregnant with baby number 4, btw she has 5 and she has custody of none and no visitation rights.  The social workers stepped in and they were extremely helpful for us.  I know there is bad social workers out there but I just thank God the we got a wonderful worker.  We went to court and the judge was awesome she gave us full custody with no problem and it is our choice whether or not that she ever gets to see the kids.  Well she got out and had baby #4 and the state took him and placed him in a foster home and the family adopted him.  I am not upset about it because he is in a wonderful family and she is in contact with me and she sends me pictures and I send her pictures.  Baby #3 was raised since birth by the baby's aunt, the baby daddy left and went back to mexico and got married to a cute woman and they had a baby together put the baby only lived for 2 months due to a heart defect and it really broke all of our hearts.  Well our daughter decided that she was going to get married to this guy because omg she got pregnant with baby #5.  At the time she had an open DSS case and baby #4 had not been adopted yet and she though that if she got married that might help her get her kids back.  Only problem was she had not changed her ways.  Well the wedding was off the hook and it was beautiful.  I am the one who the the wedding planner and I decorated and organized everything. I made the boutonnieres and the bouquet and the made of honor's flowers.  One of our sons was the best man, one of your daughters was the maid of honor and he had 2 kids so his daughter and our granddaughter baby #2 was the flower girls and his son and our grandson baby #1 was the ring bearers. And my husband gave her a way.  After the wedding the receptions was an extremely awesome party.  I made food and the Mexicans made food and it was so good. Let me put this in right her I am not racist in the least.  I love all colors, I don't look at colors I look at a persons heart.  Well she had baby #5 and she had her tubes tied and burnt (thank God because she wouldn't use birth control) the state stepped in because her case was still open and she was an unfit mother she was not allowed to take the baby home.  They told her husband that if she lived with him that the baby couldn't go home with him.  So he kicked her out and took his baby home.  Which was a good choice because she only married him in hopes of getting baby #4 back.  She was extremely abusive towards her husband verbally and physically.  He ended up moving to Montana with the baby.  He filled for divorce and he received full custody of the baby and she get no contact. I get pictures of her occasionally.  Well like idiots we let her have contact with our 2.  She would clean her act up and pop in and then after a week or so she would be right back to her old self on drugs and hoeing around.  We had to make a decision a few months ago that enough was enough and the straw that broke the camels back was her calling and cussing out the kids and calling them anything she could lay her tongue to and telling them they were never wanted and baby #2 was the biggest mistake because she was white (all the others are part Hispanic).  Since then she has been permanently cut off. Yes the mama bear in me came out and she better be glad she was not standing in front of me or where I could get ahold of her because if she was I would have beat her half to death.  Well I have some remodeling repairs to do so I better end this for now I will try my best to post more often because I older son let me borrow one of his laptops until my husbands taxes come in and then I am going to get one of me own.  Peace and Love to everyone.