ok so today I am going to see the movie Fifty Shades Darker.  I am going by myself because I have no one to go with  me.  Being a loner is at times lonely but I really do not have anyone that I talk to or hang around.  If my kid wasn't in Florida then I know she would be around which would be cool because I can somehow always talk to her or hang out with her.  I have another kid in Tennessee but she is too far away also.  I always wanted a big family because I always thought that big families were close but with our that is just not the case.  It seems that as everyone grew up they also grew apart which really breaks my heart.  My husbands family is the same.  They are not close at all and the only time anyone really calls on anyone is if they need something but if you are there for someone don't expect that they will be there for you when you need them.  I hate it really because I was not raised that way.  My mom was always there for us and we always tried to be there for her whenever we could.  Looking back I really wish we would have been around her more because I really do miss her now that she is gone and with dad being gone now also it really hit home just how alone I really feel.  I mean yes I have my husband and we are really close but people just don't realize how much they feel lonely when 1 or even both of their parents are gone.  Ok now on to a different subject and that is the movie that I am going to see, I am excited to see it even though I am going by myself.  I read all of the books and they were fabulously entertaining and steamy.  Some people may be embarrassed about the books and the movies but, I am not.  I find them tittulating and hot.  Some people do not find B and D romantic but, there is something that is so risky and hot about it. Now S and M is a whole other world that I am just not into but the other as long as you are 2 consenting adults and you like it then that is all that matters.  For me what happens in the marriage bed that both people are comfortable with then that is between them and is no one else's business.  Not everyone likes vanilla all the time, some of us like a little swirl now and then.  Ok enough on that subject lol.  Tomorrow I will add my thoughts on how I enjoyed the movie or weather I enjoyed the movie.  The first movie left me wanting more but, I guess they were just testing the waters to see just how far they could go.  I have seen regular movies that have had more sex in them than the first one did.  I'm just saying, it need a little more umph then it had.  Although everyone is entitled to their own opinions and that is just mine.  Well I am going to close with that and go get ready to see my movie.