Another day

So yesterday I was ranting about my stepdaughter being in jail and I wanted to clarify something. I do still love my stepdaughter because a mother loves unconditionally. I by no means agree with her lifestyle and I don't know if our relationship can ever go back to the way that it once was because there was a time that we were really close but she has broken my trust because of the way that she has come against me and hurt me. All the while I have tried to be on her side and do everything I could to help her. I have really been hurt by her and I have raised her 2 kids since birth and she acts like she doesn't even appreciate it. She only wants to be a part of the kids life and a part of our family when it is convenient for her or she wants something from us. I have to protect these kids from her destructive behavior.  I just feel that at age 27 it is time to put on your big girl panties and grow up and think about someone other than yourself. If you are not willing to do that then you need to woman up and allow the kids to move on and quit trying to hold them back. You made the choice not to be their mother when you chose yourself and drugs over them. They have a good life with us. I do not talk bad about her to the kids but I do not hide anything from them. They know that she bounces from man to man and she is on drugs and that she is now in jail. She had a guy friend of hers call us and give us orders not to tell the kids that she is in jail and I sent word back to her that the kids know and they are my kids and I am in charge not her. I feel that if I am bot honest with her about how I am feeling then it isnt good. We cant move forward if I am always having to walk on egg shells around her and put her feelings first. I refuse to put her before my kids and their feelings or my feelings anymore. This is something I have to do for my family.