Another day in my world

My husband likes to drive a cab because it is something that he can do to make good money and it really doesn't take a lot out of him.  I used to drive cab, which I don't mind doing, it is just that I have so many other things going. For instance, I am home schooling the kids right now and it is a disaster.  My mother was so good at it and I am only doing it because the kids truly were not doing good in this school but, it is like they do not appreciate the fact that I have put everything on hold just for them.  They fight me on everything that give them to do and I try my best on making learning fun and not boring.  For instance, yesterday since it is the first day back after Christmas break I decided to give them a placement exam for their grade level so I could see where they are so I would know what I needed to teach them so they will be on grade level for this and next year because I don't want them to get behind because of me.  Well one thing was a writing assignment and they threw the biggest fit ever because they hate to write.  I even tried to make the writing assignment as easy as possible by making the topic choices something that they liked and would be easy for them to write about.  Boy did that fly over like a lead balloon.  After pitching a fit for about an hour and me going to my room to let them cool off and for me to gather my thoughts they finally broke down and did the assignment and it was done really good.  Now I know what needs to be done in English. Now today they are going to do a math test and I am not looking forward to it because I do not want a repeat of yesterday.  It seems like whenever I get an assignment together to teach they start in with, we already know that, it is just stressful for me and it should not be this hard.  If they would just be kids and roll with whatever I give them it would be so much easier for all of us.  I love creating things to teach that go along with a field trip because I like hands on but, this group acts like you are asking them for blood or something because again they fight me on everything.  Sometimes I feel as though somewhere I have went wrong and it is all my fault, I know that in a way sounds crazy but, isn't it the parents fault if the kids don't turn out right?  I am really confused because out of the 10 kids that I have helped to raise I just hope that some of them can say that their Mom wasn't a screw up and I have actually done something right.  I do feel that after all that we have been through my older daughter now is my friend and knows that everything that I have ever done in her life was for her own good and that I love her with all my heart.  I only want the best for all of my children because I don't want them to have to go through the mistakes that I have made in my life.  I wouldn't go back in time and change things because to do that may mess up who I am so that wouldn't be a good thing so yeah I would leave things the way they are and just learn and try to teach my kids from my past. So for now it is like my life is on hold while I again put my kids first and I just want a little appreciation from them for all I do.  Sometimes though I wonder if that is ever going to happen.