Words

Ok so I went to church Wednesday night and they taught on the power of words. It isn't that I have never been taught what they are teaching because my mother raised me and helped teach me all these things. I am just having trouble these days because I don't feel the fire that I once felt. I feel so cold and it scares me. I know most people would never be this honest for fear that people will condemn and judge them. But if I can't be honest even with myself then what do I have because that is all I have is my honesty. I really do want to be on fire again because I miss it so much. It seemed so much easier to cope with life when I was on fire and I could actually feel something. I pray that the fire will return. I pray, read the Bible and try really hard. I just feel that sometimes I am going through the motions. I no longer want to just go through the motions. I want to feel in my heart again the feelings that I am supposed to have. They say don't talk about the problem but speak to the problem. I am not really sure how to do that with finances because no matter how much I quote scripture and pray concerning our money problems it seems that nothing changes. I feel so low because I have no way to provide for my children in which they need to be provided for. My son is playing football and I can't even afford to go watch him play. All I can say is that God knows our situation and only He can provide for us. My husband goes for an orientation on Monday which gives him more hours and a .50$ raise. Yes I do see God's hand moving in our lives and yes I am very thankful for all He is doing for us but I am still awaiting a break through so we can quit struggling to provide for our kids.