50 million things to do and 0% energy

I hate waiting and needing to do things and not having the energy to do them.  People just don't realize that when you have health issues not all of them can be seen.  If I was in a wheelchair or something like that then I think people would react differently to me when I say I just don't feel well or I am tired.  I suffer from Fibromyalga, chronic fatigue, epstein barr virus, COPD, congestive heart failure, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, PTSD, depression, Bipolor disorder, anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, OCD, arthritis in my feet, back and hands, my shoulder has issues and arthritis, my neck has nerve damage and my knees need to be replaced but, they are holding off as long as possible on that because they say that I am still young and the knees when replaced only hold up for so long. I am on over 20 different medications and I am in constant pain and the only thing they perscribe me for pain is Ibuprophen and extra strength tylenol.  Yep that's it crazy I know right?  I am in a way happy that I am not on pain meds because I don't want to become addicted to them.  Also that is why I am praying that the legalization of medical weed comes quickly.  When you smoke weed it does help with pain and anxiety.  It will also help to relax your mind so you can go to sleep without the aid of a sleeping pill which I am on and they can also become addicting.  People want to put a label or stigmatized on people that smoke weed as lazy hippies that don't do anything but, sit around all day smoking pot and having the munchies but, this could not be farther from the truth because when you are not in the constant pain that you experience on the daily then you are able to be active and do more things that you were not able to do.  Right now when I have a good day I try to cram all the things that need to be done into that one day and that is the biggest mistake you can make because then you end up with even more pain for the next few days because you over worked yourself.  And the only reason you do this is because you know it needs to be done and you get tired of feeling like a burden to your family.  Even if they never say it and they act as though everything is okay and they don't mind still in the back of your mind there is this nagging little voice that keeps saying that you are lazy and a burden to everyone and you should get your fat ass up and do more than you already do.  I have to say that my husband is a good man and he does understand how I feel and we try to work as a team to get things done but, that doesn't mean that I don't feel like a burden.  I try really hard not to dwell on these thoughts because I know that they are extreamly unhealthy and I don't want to put myself into a downward spiral of a depressive episode.  I have friends online that are wonderful and they always cheer me up because we have coffee time together every weekday and just enjoy each other's company.  We also make silly videos that makes each other and others laugh.  I heard one person this morning say that if you only get one like on your video then that is awesome because you were able to make that person smile and when you have a live chat if only a few people join then that's okay because those few people needed someone to hang out with and they chose you.  This is the reason that I do tic toc videos and lives because if I can make at least 1 person smile everyday then my little insignificate life is making a difference.  So if you see someone out there making a video and acting crazy they just might be on tic toc making someone else's day a little bit brighter.  Well I have to go for now.  Peace and Love to all my friends and family.