Mother's Day

Well another Mother's Dayis upon us.  As usual only the kidsin my home wished me a happy mother's day.  That leaves 7 kids that don't even acknowledge my existence but, belive me when they needed a mother I was the one that made the sacrifices for them to be able to have a good life.  Kia-Leigh had her toncils taken out on Wednesday and she is still experienceing pain.  She is drinking plenty of liquidsbut, she is not eating to much.  Not eating is not a problem as long as she keeps drinking.  I try to keep my chin up and not let it keep me down about the kids not acknowledging me but, I can't lie it does get me down if I sit and think about it.  My husband tries to make up for their shortcomings and that agrivates me because he hasn't done anything wrong and I don't feel like he should have to make up for them.  I don't understand it because 4 kids have a mother that was never there for them and then when she overdosed they put her on a pedistal and decided to rewrite history making her a saint.  She abandoned them and had nothing to do with them and everytime she broke their heart I was the one who was left picking up the pieces.  Then the other one his mother threw him in the trash can outside in the winter when he was a baby and she wanted nothing to do with him and again I stepped up and was the mother to him that he never had.  I really don't understand why he doesn't acknowledge me.  Then 2 of mine shune me at all costs. I really don't understand why either because I have been a mother to them and made sure that they didn't do without growing up.  It really is heartbreaking when you have deicated your life to children and then when they grow up they completly turn their back on you.  I guess I will never be able to explain the way they make me feel.  As someone who suffers from depression, anxiety, panic attacks and PTSD among other things people rejecting you without an explanation really does mess with your head.  When I am not able to reason something or explain it then it just sits in the back of my mind and nags at me.  No matter how much I try to push it out and put on a brave face it still sits their nagging away at me.  Even though I tell others that it doesn't bother me, in reality it really does bother me.  It makes me feel that there is something wrong with me.  Well I am going to sign off for now and go watch a movie with my hubby.  Peace and love to all my friends and family.