Surviving 20 years of marriage tips

Okay so on the 26th of this month me and my husband will have been together for 20 years but, married for 19 years.  People say that in this day and age that is a rare thing for people to be together and faithful for that long.  I happen to agree with everyone on that count.  My aunt and uncle had been married for 64 years when he passed away a week ago. Now that is something that I think is amazing.  Well I have a few tips just personal observences that I will give ya'll that I have found helpful for me to staying with someone for any length of time.  First off you have to have respect for not only yourself but, for the other person as well.  If you don't respect for yourself then you can't have respect for anyone else either.  Also you have to love yourself because that is the first step to loving others because if you don't know how to love yourself then how can you possibly love anyone else?  Now days you find that people fall in and out of love about as much as they change their hair color.  There will be days that you will find that you are having a hard time loving your spouse but, you have to tell yourself that just because they are doing are acting like a complete moron that doesn't mean you throw everything away because you are going by a fly by night feeling.  Your feelings at times may change daily or even hourly.  Feelings can be a very fickled thing, sometimes feelings can be superfishal.  Just know that they may be on your nerves right now but, you are not perfect and there is times that you are on their nerves and they stuck around.  Try to find something special that you can do for your person daily and don't tell them that you are doing it because weither they admit it or tell you they notice the specail things they really do notice them because if you all of a sudden stop doing those special things then believe me they will notice.  We went through a training experience one time some years back and we learned that little tip and I really had never thought about it like that.  My husband works full time 5 days a week and I wake up every morning at 5:30 am and start coffee and fix his lunch and lay his clothes out so that way he can get a few minutes extra rest.  I don't do this because it is my job or duty, I do it because I respect my husband for all the sacrifices that he makes for our family.  I do everything I do out of love for my spouse.  Some people hate doing things for their spouse because they say they feel as though they are a maid or whatever but, that is really not a way to look at it.  If you are a homemaker than technically it is part of your job to keep the house going.  Now that doesn't mean just because your spouse works full time when they get home they can just put their feet up and allow you to wait on them hand and foot because they still need to help do things around the house just like you have things that you have to do they to need to realize that their paid job isn't the only responsibliity that they have.  My hubby helps me with housework even though he works full time.  On my bad health days he works full time and then helps me with whatever I was unable to do that day.  We work as a team and that is what makes a difference.  He doesn't think that he is any better than I am because we are equal partners and teammates in this thing called marriage.  When people finally come to this realization than they will be a lot happier because yes I understand that my husband is the leader and head of your household but that doesn't make him any better than me because we are equal and teammates.  We have tried to instill this in our kids and some have learned and then others are hardheaded and just don't get it or care.  Marriage is like a garden you have to put the work in to be able to see the benifits of it.  You just can't throw seeds in the ground and expect that the garden will take care of itself because weeds will overtake it and it will nolonger be yours.  Never compromise the moral integrity of your marriage.  What I mean by that is I am not saying that you cannot have friends of the opposite sex but, you should never have private meetings or conversations with the opposite sex because then weeds can enter and cause problems or weeds can enter the minds of others and can cause problems with your good name.  Now you might be saying well I love my spouse and nothing like that will ever happen but, let me tell you it is better to be safe than sorry because once that ugly weed of doubt starts growing it is a really hard thing to get rid of and it is really not worth having.  This is just some of the things that have worked for us and you can either use them or not it really doesn't hurt my feelings one way or the other because everyone has to use whatever works for them.  Well I am going to close for now.  Peace and Love to all of my friends and family.